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I've always thought the Darwin Awards are apocraphyl. You never know who "awards" them. But I was sent a list today of this year's supposed winners--further casting doubt on their legitimacy since there is more than a quarter of the year left to be really stupid. Anyhow, here is--or was--the fifth place winner:
"Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor."